i have learned about me

I have realized a couple of things about myself this morning... I was doing my Bible study and reading through about David, this man after God's own heart, and I have realized I am after God's heart.

It is easy to love someone when times are good. What about when things get hard? What about when everything seems to be falling apart? I think it is more of a test of love when you can love someone through the hard points in life. 9 months ago God began a work in my heart. He began to teach me what it really means to love another human being with everything you have, with your whole heart. It starts first with learning how to love God with your whole heart. I am so in love with my savior. My first love, the lover of my spirit. I have never trusted the Lord, had more faith or more hope in God, then I do now, and always will. He has proven himself to me (not like He ever had to). He has loved me through my sin, He loved me when I was lost, He never once gave up on me or lost hope in me. He was relentless in His pursuit for me. I am so glad He loves me that much, because I came home. I ran back and in His arms is where I want to stay...

That, is how I strive to love. That is how I want to love him. I could have given up 9 months ago, when the pursuit of our love got hard. I could have given up, when he said he was done. When he said he didn't want me. When he chose to do other things. When he completely pushed me out. I could have given up. I could have become bitter. I could have said horrible things. I could have gotten mad.

I didn't.

Because, the more and more I fall in love with Jesus, the more I fall in love with him, and can see past all of his worldly foolishness. I see past that and see a glimpse of who the Lord created him to be. he is a good man. and as my love grows daily for the Lord, my love grows daily for him.

against what many people have said to me about this pursuit I have been on, I continue. I am devoted, to my love. I gave him my heart, he is worth this continual fight. Our marriage and who I know someday God will make him is worth it to me.

I have learned, that my true character has been revealed the past 9 months, and though I am not perfect, I have learned that with the Lord, I am strong. I am a fighter. I don't quit when it gets hard, my love for him is pure and unconditional. and if I could make it through something like this and come out better then I was before, then hopefully I am worth keeping.

hopefully I am worth the risk to pursue, and see the change that has taken place in my life. I am worth it. I was worth it to the Lord, who never gave up on me..

It is easy to love someone when things are hard, it is a true test of love when you can love someone and continue to love them more through the hard things. This is how God calls us to love,

this is how I will love.