dont underestimate

I have been absent from my blogspot for awhile now... I think just taking a break, soaking some things in, praying, focusing in on Jesus, listening, waiting, seeking... I wonder what He is going to do, God, I have learned is a God of the unexpected, and when we think we have drawn a conclusion, or have predicted the end; when we think that we know what we'll do, or have made a plan, HE changes it all. You see, we can think we have control over our own lives, and in someways we do, but I think that, for someone who has accepted Jesus into their hearts, well, He never leaves, we can ignore him, we can distance ourselves, we can be retarded, we can make some bad decisions, but He is still there, and sooner or later, he will start to knock on the door of our heart... He is subtle too, he isn't forceful, he is gentle and kind, and when we finally decide to open the door, He lets us fall into His loving arms... I have had these moments, where I think, "ok God, I have to make a plan, I know I dont want to live here for ever, I need to go back to school, I need to make sure I am ok, Im going to do what I need to do..." and I get this whole idea, and plan... I am learning, NEVER to rest in that. NEVER trust your own will. God can change your WHOLE entire life in a split second... thats something else I have been learning, I am not promised the next 5 minutes, how do I want to live my life?? a young boys life was taken in a second when he got hit by a car, who would have thought? it goes to show, life is short, our time shouldnt be wasted... I want God to have my whole heart, I want healing and wholeness, I want His will not mine, I want to trust completely and live for Him alone, doing my best to be pleasing to Him... my first love. This is a ramble and I tend to do that, just talk in circles... but I get what Im saying, right? this is my journal, my story. God's story.

from a heart who is waiting and seeking,
Katy Hill.